Good day, bamboo lovers! Welcome to the book blitz for Confessions of the Very First Zombie Slayer (That I Know Of), by F.J.R. Titchenell! In this post, you’ll find overall info about the book and the author, my cover analysis, what people are saying about the book, a killer excerpt and a giveaway!
Confessions of the Very First Zombie Slayer (That I Know Of)
by F.J.R. Titchenell
Genre: YA Horror, Comedy
Release Date: April 4th, 2017
The world is Cassie Fremont’s playground. Her face is on the cover of every newspaper. She has no homework, no curfew, and no credit limit, and she spends her days traveling the country with her friends, including a boy who would do the chicken dance with death to make her smile.
Life is just about perfect—except that those newspaper headlines are about her bludgeoning her crush to death with a paintball gun, she has to fight ravenous walking corpses every time she steps outside, and one of her friends is still missing, trapped somewhere in the distant, practically impassable wreckage of Manhattan.
Still, Cassie’s an optimist, more prone to hysterical laughter than hysterical tears, and she’d rather fight a corpse than be one. She’ll never leave a friend stranded when she can simply take her road trip to impossible new places, even if getting there means admitting to that boy that she might love him as more than her personal jester.
Skillfully blending effective horror with unexpected humor, this diary-style novel is a fast-paced and heartwarming read.
Confessions of the Very First Zombie Slayer (That I Know Of) is available in both ebook and paperback formats! =D
“Heartbreak, humor, a very large number of crushed skulls and even romance ensue . . . . Readers who don’t mind a little brain spatter on the windshield will be happy they took this particular trip.”
“You know when you read a book about teens and you think the author just didn’t get it? Well, F.J.R. Titchenell gets video gaming, paintballing, Vespa riding, teenage tomboy angst, true love, the uses of theater paint—oh, and killing zombies.”
—Lehua Parker, author of the Nene Award-nominated Niuhi Shark Saga
“The story is fast, filled with dark humor, and lots of blood and guts.”
— All Things Urban Fantasy
When you think about it, there’s no way Mark was really the first case. First one broadcast on American TV, sure, but not the first altogether.
On average, nearly 300,000 people die every day, and that stat is from before all this started, so even if you narrow down the beginning to a window of just five seconds, that’s about eighty-three “first” cases. Eighty-three stories like mine. Some of them have to be technically earlier, a lot of them are probably more interesting, and a few might even be dumber, but the faces on the front pages of the last newspapers ever printed were Mark’s and mine, so I guess we’re as good a place to start as any.
So here’s how the zombie apocalypse started for me.
It was during Boy Scout Troop 146’s annual spring break camping trip. I’d spent weeks begging Rory and Lis, the twins who acted as my official best friends and only real girl friends, to sign up all the girls they could for Venturers so we’d have a crew big enough to go along with the guys.
Now I wonder whose face would have been on those papers instead of mine if they hadn’t helped.
At the time, though, I was just glad to be there—so glad that I didn’t even mind being sidelined with them and their army of satellite friends, making a campfire brownie oven out of tinfoil while the boys set up the tents. I didn’t even mind the word I heard whispered behind me when I excused myself to say hi to Mark.
It’s okay. Really. In girl talk, “slut” translates roughly to “my crush’s crush,” which isn’t so bad, if you think about it. Besides, it was pretty common knowledge how many guys I’d gone all the way with.
Zero, if you’re wondering.
My romantic conquests up to that point had consisted of precisely two counts of catching and hanging onto a boyfriend for more than three consecutive weeks, and one of them didn’t really count.
Still, considering that this was a little over three years ago when I was only fifteen, even I had to admit that I wasn’t off to a terrible start, and the secret wasn’t in my frizzy hair or freckles or flat chest, that’s for sure.
It was something I’d started doing on a whim, almost by accident. One afternoon, I’d just decided that I was going to start listening to all the stupid, pointless shit the boys said.
Simple? Sort of. I found out pretty quickly that if you’re going to listen, you have to listen hard. Smiling and nodding doesn’t cut it. You have to listen until you know why a Needler is a noob weapon and where Boba Fett made his debut appearance (Hint: It’s not Episode V). Then listen harder. And then keep listening.
That’s not my real secret, though.
My real secret is that I liked it.
Once again, it was the cover that drew my attention for the book’s existence, haha! What can I say about this cover that covered all the right elements to make me fall in love and still manages to bring all the blurb’s elements alive? You, besides how much I loved it, haha! Seriously, I loved the photoshop work here, from the model to the wordings and this background – I wish I could use it as my phone screen lock or something! SO PRETTY! (Since Avril’s The Best Damn Thing in 2007, I’m a goner for black and bright pink together, oops!)
I also loved the mixing of type fonts between bold straight and handwriting ❤ Adding this sky blue to the cover was the perfect idea to not mix up the many elements in the over and OMG, FITTING SUCH A GIANT TITLE WITH GRACE AND POISE! Seriously, the artist is awesome.
F.J.R. Titchenell is an author of young adult, sci-fi, and horror fiction. She graduated with a B.A in English from California State University, Los Angeles, in 2009 at the age of twenty, is represented by Fran Black of Literary Counsel, and currently lives in San Gabriel, California with her husband and fellow author, Matt Carter, and their pet king snake, Mica.
The “F” is for Fiona, and on the rare occasions when she can be pried away from her keyboard, her kindle, and the pages of her latest favorite book, Fi can usually be found over-analyzing the inner workings of various TV Sci-Fi universes or testing out some intriguing new recipe, usually chocolate-related.
One Lucky INTERNATIONAL winner will take home ebook copies of The Prospero Chronicles, a YA Horror/Scifi series from F.J.R. Titchenell!
And that’s it! Thank you for reading =D I don’t usually go for zombies, but this book sounds hilarious ;D